I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he fucked my hip out of place.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
