you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
