I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Randomize
