So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Michael Bay diarrhea
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
