I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
