Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
There are leaves in my underwear?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
