He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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