I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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