I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
