I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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