I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
cat food counts as protein by the way
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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