ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
