So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
