Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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