what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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