so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
