Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
