That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
