yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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