how can u be prego again
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
