i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
