I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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