is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
