Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
