They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
