Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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