At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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