Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
