Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
