your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
