We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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