how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
