Please, let me fuck your mom
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
