i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
