Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
