they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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