Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
