I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
