I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
