Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
