hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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