dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize