I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
