I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
