HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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