you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
