i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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