i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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