Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
