he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
this will be a night to untag.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
