Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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