Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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