She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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