Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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