So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
