talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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