She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
