feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
