I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
