she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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