mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
