What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
