Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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