the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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