Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize