I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I did not marry a roomba.
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