My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize