You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Two words: blizzard sex
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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