My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
