Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
