Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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