i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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