Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he shaved USA in his pubs
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
