This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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