meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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