Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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