every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
