I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize